S piritual direction
P rayer guide
I G N A T I A N trained
R etreats & quiet days
I 9th Annotation’s
T rained N.H.S Health Trainer
I have been quietly dreaming about vocation/business cards for the future ~ when I am qualified that is ~ and when I need to earn an income to survive.
However ~ prematurely or by providence? ~ a potential receptionist job has arisen at Essex University in the Students Advice Centre which is akin to the Citizens Advice Bureau. ~ Students come in for appointments with a specialist advisor, for issues with plagiarism, poor conduct offences, visa and immigration issues etc. (none of which is remotely spiritual!)
On the one hand (if I were to get it) I might gain an hourly rate of pay just above minimum wage income, between school drop off and collection hours ~ this would render me a little more independent should I have to rent a bed sit ~ and possibly begin once again to be able to attend morning Mass before hand. Else just get my confidence back by feeling a valid, free, independent part of a dynamic vibrant community ~ without the need to belong in a deeper way to any other community (religious or otherwise) ever again ~ just be personally devoted to Christ. By taking the post I would still be free to spend the school holidays with my children.
However I would have to sacrifice my bursary funded Ignatian studies one day a week for the next two years ~ and then lose my spiritual formation ~ and my future vocation ~ abandon my new (not Catholic) spiritual director ~ and forget about doing the 19th Annotation and lose any contemplation time. I would miss my London fix too. :O(
I would also have to stop being my best friend Maria’s chemo companion ~ chemo which wipes out every Monday for the rest of her dramatically cut short life ~ precious time I have to spend with her ~ just when she needs me :O( ~ or maybe that would force her husband to step in and render their relationship possibly once again loving? ~ A much needed prayer for them both (still yet to be answered) that they become ever closer once again at the close of her life.
Ho hum ~ decisions? ~ providence? ~ discernment?
Maybe it could just be your call alone God.
All I ever really wanted was to have a contemplative/active vocation in my own special little church ~ be welcomed and loved in my diocese ~ and have my friendships restored to Truth. :O(