So Wrong

It is not good enough ~ that 3 hits have just been recorded in my stats page on the old magsmuse  ‘I Confess’  blog post ~ almost instantaneously to me having left a comment on the Jericho Tree blog, about women so often being portrayed as the fallen ones.

The hits were left as if to concrete and reinforce a view of me as a proven fallen woman  ~ by who?

Oh how I so wish that those people who hit on my blog were in my first ever confession.

How wrong you are!

The Catholic Church enforced that I lived within my marriage of 9 years as brother and sister (by denying my reception into the church; unless I stopped my physical relationship with my second husband)  ~ thus leaving me with the impossible choice of being permanently separated in faith from my children, or choosing the church over my marriage.

I took the only option that any mother true to her children could take ~ and paid the ransom with my marriage.


Thus I united my suffering to Christ’s ~ only He gave His life as a ransom for mine.

And then as if by grace ~ in my absolute lonely sexually repressed desire ~ God granted me spiritual blessings and awakenings ~ that I never ever knew of before.

This is no sin.

Read St Teresa of Avila ~ read any of the other mystics male or female ~ where people who were denied and whose sexuality was repressed, were so graced when they learnt to read the braille of their soul in a new light.   A new prayer.   Heightened spirituality ~ Sensual prayer arousing the soul to a new level.  Absolutely previously unbeknownst to me.  And then when I discovered the Spanish Mystics writings ~  suddenly I felt (in this new belovedness) never quite so alone ever again.

This is no sin.

Although I thought it was at first ~ and so I confessed it right here. I confess

And ever since, every time I post a comment ~ or a blog entry ~ or a face book post, I have an ‘array of people’ supposedly from all countries, responding to my words either by directly hitting on one of my own corresponding ‘relevant’ blogs ~ else by a more indirect response ~ by words filtering into the periphery of my broader communications.  You read the blog or the ‘communication’ through, and there it is, the message the person is trying to instill ~ in direct correlation and response to my original posting, and in precise timing.

And I can see it All.

I am a perceptive and bright person ~ and through prayer I have learnt to be intimately tuned in to God and Love. ~ This I know for sure.  I know that my heart is Good and Honest and True  ~  And thanks be to God, because of this I can quite often paradoxically and transparently see people feigning ‘authentic friendship’ ~ concealing their actual purpose ~ which is purely to influence or intercept me in mine, by manipulating me in a sometimes subliminal ~ sometimes direct ~ sometimes indirect ~ and most often non-transparent way ~ with their own mission.  However in the discernment of Spirits ~ I can feel and see your deceptions ~ and I feel sad for the Church. And I remain (on my part) in truly authentic friendship with you ~  because it is the Holy Spirit that inspires me so ~ and because it is God that calls me to Love authentically.

The Holy Spirit is far greater than man and his deceptive deeds.

I have never in my entire lifetime been physically unfaithful with another human being.

I wish I was.

I have Loved another human being.  Deeply in God.  In fact it is the only human being I have ever Loved so deeply in God, in my entire life-time, that isn’t a blood relative ~ and I have been above-board and honest before God about this Love ~  because He calls me to be so.   For to have lied ~ and to have denied God His Truth ~ truly would have been a sin.

But I did not sin.

I was True to God.

And ever since ~ undercover ~ in the dark ~ where no one else can see ~ I have been continuously persecuted for being Truth ~ by more than one person intercepting and thwarting my authentic communications ~ in more ways than one.

Well ~ maybe now ~ you should all bring yourselves out into the Light ~ by the name that God calls you by ~ and in integrity and honesty have an above board conversation, whereby your unjustified persecutions and misperceptions of me can be fully had out ~ In the name of the Father,  and of the Son,  and of the Holy Spirit. †

And if not then I challenge you to finally lay down your gauntlet of darkness, and your campaign to continuously hurt me ~ by continuously trying to destabilise me ~ by continually (under disguise) declaring belovedness one minute ~ homosexuality the next ~ and celibacy the next ~ via my stats page ~ via the google search engine terms ~ via other postings ~ mock friendships ~ and Facebook.

It will not work.  God Loves me.

God Loves us both regardless.

I pray for you All ~ and for your corrupt behaviour ~ Reform in the name of God †

Yours In Love ~ mags †

Amen †


About mags

Beloved apostle of His Soul x
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