After 45 years of living me ~ and almost 2 years of Ignation training ~ and then a very intensive 6 months of preparation and preparatory exercises ~ I Am about to embark upon a much Deeper Formation. This involves my spiritual life being explored in the deepest way with God ~ via the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola & in the accompaniment and prayer of a religious Sister.
I enter into the ‘First Week’ of my Spiritual Exercises with far more commitment than at first anticipated ~ more (I think) than many others have chosen to enter them with, whom I know.
Part of me in the silence of just listening so deeply to God alone ~ and being intimately rooted in Belovedness with Christ ~ is not to want to allow myself to be sidetracked by so many other influences ~ and so many other dominant opinions ~ and different ministries. I just want to pull in the reigns and channel all my intuition from and toward Jesus without expending my energies in Apologetics, Evangelisation, and Conversations that provoke a response (and much time) from me.
The process of this journey in time hopefully will encourage me to re-engage once again at some stage ~ but for now social media needs to be a way of me connecting and socialising with my family, friends and loved ones in a light-hearted manner ~ without it overtly disrupting or persuading my attention away from my deeper formation, discernment and dialogue with God.
For so long, rightly or wrongly, spiritually and physically I have felt in many ways observed, watched, followed, monitored, under surveillance, excluded, reprimanded, subliminally befriended and infiltrated by people in ‘connection’ with the Catholic Church. And that is absolutely wonderful ~ and maybe complete poppycock. ~ Thank God the Church checks out the authenticity of people ~ I Am reassured.
That also sounds ridiculous and very self-important on my part ~ Its isn’t meant to be ~ I am no-one ~ I Am just me ~ A working class lass with Almighty Faith who by Many Miracles God saves.
God knows my sacred story it is written on the palm of His hand.
I Love the Church Soooooo Much ~ I want her to survive ~ and flourish ~ and reform ~ and resurrect ~ I want to live The Way of Love that He inspires me to Live ~ Simply ~ in harmony with Creation.
I want to live in Love.
I don’t want to feel constantly in opposition ~ disagreement ~ and friction with people.
I Am Not obliged to evangelise or prophesize anyone else’s way ~ only the way that God inspires and leads me to.
I Am a genuine person ~ After many a deep discussion (great ones) and at times knife-cutting silence ~ and with much observation on my own part ~ and some insightful perceptions into others written words, I have realised at times a certain stream of evangelical-bigotry where the word evil is used to describe the spirit of others of opposing opinion and gender. I realise that these people some of whom (I think) are possibly self-appointed, are the people who sadly make others turn away from the Catholic Faith.
I will not be subject to others silent opinions, and conformed to the model they suppose I should be ~ by their manipulation. I Am a child of God and every part as valid and as beautifully called as the next Saint.
And further more I would call All Peoples to warmly believe the same.
I Am a Good person ~ One of Love ~ not the opposite.
Please Pray for me as I fully immerse myself in the ‘First Week’ of the EXX ~ in God’s all-encompassing Love.
See you after my retreat.
God Bless †
Yours in Love ~ with faithful heart ~ mags x